When your loved one is battling addiction, you’re likely in the throes of the process with them. Even if you’ve never taken part in their drug of choice, you’re at the front lines of their battle. This reality means that you may be ill-equipped to handle the difficulty, setbacks, and willpower needed to overcome addiction. However, there are ways you can support your loved one, understand their experience, and protect your peace.
1. Revise Your Vocabulary
Popular culture has a way of brainwashing people into believing certain words, terms, and phrases are commonly acceptable. Someone who uses drugs is often called a “druggie,” “crackhead,” or “junkie” when, in reality, they’re your sibling or spouse. Before you learned of their addiction, you might have felt these terms were accurate, but these words are often damaging. By placing the addiction in front of the person, it dehumanizes the person in question, potentially stunting their recovery.
Focus on learning new vocabulary to discuss addiction, treatment, and recovery. Doing so will take time and intentional practice, just like it did during your school days. However, reframing how you speak will also reframe how you view the process and experience of recovering from addiction. Use person-first language, just as you may already do elsewhere in life, referring to the individual and then their experience. Here, your loved one is someone who’s battling addiction, not an addict. Changing the way you speak reinforces that their addiction doesn’t define them.
Do a personal audit of how you think, hear, and speak about addiction and the recovery process. You may need to revisit what you assume about therapy and mental health too. Instead of thinking getting mental health treatment is a sign of weakness, consider the importance of professional, compassionate care. Inpatient treatment for substance abuse is critical to many people’s recovery, just as inpatient physical therapy is after surgery. Be intentional about how you refer to addiction and, if you slip up, correct yourself and try again.
2. Learn About Addiction and Treatment
In many cases, you’re learning about the science of addiction and treatment right along with your loved one. Professionals continue to discover new things about addiction, how the brain responds to treatment, and the long-term challenges of recovery. Addiction is complex, and each person’s experience will be colored by their upbringing and life experiences. While recovery will be largely dependent on your loved ones’ readiness to endure the journey, learning about it can help.
Read about addiction, including research journals, medical studies, and first-hand experiences of those in recovery. Learn about caregiver strategies and how others in your position as a loved one have navigated the process. You’ll learn from their experiences but will also gain an appreciation for the challenges your loved one faces. Recovery is messy and often conducted outside the public eye, making these stories essential for your learning experience.
The more you learn about others’ recovery journeys, the more grace you can give yourself and your loved one. In many cases, your loved one may not yet realize their triggers for turning toward addiction. By learning from others’ experiences, you can fashion a supportive environment, gleaned from expert insight. You could also join a support group for families of those struggling with addiction to connect and share ideas and support one another.
3. Improve Your Mental Wellbeing and Self-Care
Caring for someone who is struggling with addiction takes a mental, emotional, and physical toll on a person. Prioritize your mental health, even if you feel like you’re in a balanced place. As more demands come your way, protecting your mental health is even more important. Protect your sense of normalcy by establishing a schedule that includes activities that replenish your spirit. This will help prevent potential burnout, resentment, and anger that can come with loving someone battling addiction.
Find a therapist whose style meshes with yours, regardless of their expertise with addiction itself. Focus on your needs first, which will include your mental health needs. You have to keep your cup full to pour over others. Keep your commitments like showing up for therapy, executing self-care practices, and being active daily. Take regular walks, which have been shown to boost mental clarity, mood, and outlook. Ask for and accept help from others for tasks like taking your loved one to treatment and managing your home.
Protect your space at home too, ensuring that it feels peaceful and safe to return to, regardless of the outside world. If you live with your loved one battling addiction, determine if a discussion about boundaries is in order. Restricting access to what is in the home, like alcohol, may require a revision of both decor and behavior. This will require some concessions, but in the journey toward recovery, they’re worth the minor inconvenience. Protect the homefront for your peace and others in it, especially minors, setting healthy boundaries for everyone’s wellbeing.
Balance Compassion and Understanding
Supporting your loved one requires you to first build a foundation of love and support for yourself. Enhance your understanding of addiction, treatment, and recovery so you can actively engage and support your loved ones’ journey. Protect your mental wellbeing and health by prioritizing your self-care and circle of support. By strengthening your mental tenacity and learning about addiction, you can make a meaningful difference in their recovery.