In a world jampacked with distractions, sometimes all you want to do is silence your mind the same way you silence your phone. To escape the endless notifications, packed schedules, and the hum of daily life. It makes it easy to forget that sometimes the most meaningful connections are created in moments of stillness. For children, these moments hold the power to shape their understanding of trust, empathy, and belonging. But, while children are naturally inclined to seek guidance and security from the adults in their lives, they’re also incredibly vulnerable, their emotions guarded behind unspoken fears of being dismissed or misunderstood. When an adult takes the time to truly listen — to hear beyond the words and engage with curiosity and care – they create a bond that can last a lifetime. In those moments, the simple act of listening becomes a profound gesture of love and respect, laying the foundation for trust in the hearts of young minds.
Children, even in the most nurturing settings, wrestle with the challenge of vulnerability. Expressing emotions, fears, and concerns doesn’t come naturally to most. This struggle stems from an implicit need to protect oneself, paired with the fear of judgment or dismissal. When a child ventures to share their thoughts, they are not simply speaking; they are placing their emotions, however raw, into the care of another person.
For children, who often lack the vocabulary or emotional intelligence to articulate feelings fully, the stakes feel extraordinarily high. A dismissive adult, whether unintentionally brushing off their concerns or hurrying the conversation, can embody that difficulty. Without meaning, you may just have sent a subtle message to the child that their words are not important.
When children perceive this kind of dismissal, they may retreat. Over time, their willingness to share, to trust, to be open diminishes. In turn, causing a growing divide between adults and the very children they strive to protect.
“When adults take the time to truly listen, they send a powerful message: ‘Your feelings matter, and I’m here for you.’ This foundation of trust makes it easier for children to open up, express their vulnerabilities, and develop the courage to face life’s challenges with confidence,” says Linsey Lunny, CEO and Founder of Hidden Strength, an app for teenagers to get mental health support for free.
Children need to feel that their voices hold weight and that what they say will be met not with judgment but with interest. “Active listening is more than just hearing words; it is the bridge between a child’s vulnerability and an adult’s understanding. It shows them their voice matters and their feelings are safe to share.” contends Lunny.
Lack of active listening doesn’t merely silence children in the short term; it risks long-term damage. Children who don’t feel heard may stop looking for support from adults altogether, turning to peers or unreliable sources for guidance. In an age of social media, this can be catastrophic.
Even worse, the act of opening up might feel futile, making them internalize feelings of isolation, inadequacy, or self-doubt. For marginalized groups, such as children of color or those growing up in poverty, the consequences can be exacerbated when societal norms already tell them they are less likely to be believed or valued.
The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that children who feel heard and understood at a young age reflect that in their conflict resolution and trust levels once they are older.
For adults, acknowledgment goes a long way. Recognizing that children deserve the same respect in communication that adults expect for themselves. While many adults aim to be supportive, distractions often get in the way. Which is why Hidden Strength has shared a few tips and tricks to be a better listener:
- Remove Distractions
- Put Yourself in the Child’s Shoes
- Create a No Judgement Zone
- Have Open and Positive Body Language
- Reflect Back on What Was Said
The importance of active listening extends well beyond childhood. Kids who grow up feeling heard develop stronger emotional intelligence, better conflict-resolution skills, and a keener sense of self-worth. They carry the assurance that their voices matter into adulthood, forming healthier relationships and communities.
By taking the time to truly listen, we have the opportunity to shape generations who believe in their worth and in the goodness of others. The act may seem small, but its impact is monumental. After all, trust isn’t just built on what we say to children; it’s built on how willing we are to hear them.